There comes a time in every paranoid man’s life when he has to ask himself: “Is my Dog jealous of my ability to eat fun cereals for breakfast?” There is another time in this man’s life when he decides to stop asking the hard questions and start doing something about the answers! Enter, BowWowBreakfast. A result of (dog) years of research and intense taste test studies, BowWowBreakfast is chock full of vitamins and explosive flavor crystals* that your little friend craves every morning.

Depending on your dog’s mood, (you did buy him that mood collar from SkyMall right? RIGHT?) you can offer him one of 6 delicious varieties…of dog cereal:

• Barkfast Squares
• Chompions
• Chewa-Bunga
• Fido Flakes
• Grrr-nola
• Pooch-Cheez (why not call it PooCheez?)

I believe R&D is also working on some new products, including Crotch-Lix and Anus-Sniffleeos.**
* - editor’s conjecture

** - editor’s prophecy

Via StrangeNewProducts