Wa-Wa-Wa-Wake up kids! It’s time for a sweet deal. After reading Dan’s gripping review, I’m sure you are just begging for some Kashi. But wait, after buying a bowl of self esteem, some random junk on eBay, and a ‘my other car is a horse‘ license plate frame you are all out of money. That’s OK though, because Kashi is giving away sample of their GoLean Crunch cereal.

This is definitely not the first time Kashi has given away free samples. After some digging I discovered they gave away some trail mix bars in a similar ad campaign. Then I found the money shot, a video of some guy reviewing his free sample. So now you have proof that you will actually get something for free.

Click here for the free GoLean Crunch.

FYI- I am eating some Apple Cinnamon Cheerios while writing this and they are mmmmm tasty.

There comes a time in every boy’s life that he becomes a man. For me, that day is today.

I leave at sundown for two weeks in search of this mystical animal, the Orange Moose. It was last sighted in the Okefenokee Swamp, Georgia…but it won’t make that mistake again. I hope to corner it in Tennessee. My bowl will be small, my milk will be room temperature, but I will persevere. For now, I leave you with these fifteen words:

“Sweet moose the color of orange now inside the box with the other sugary animals.”

WARNING: This commercial was shot using black and white film. The”Orange” Moose will appear Medium Grey.

One crazy month ago we had a limerick contest that produced some of the best and worst poetry of all time. The winner, Aaron, wrote this beauty:

A horse, with a neigh, was brittle.
But many a rider thought little
of the mares bones.
He could jump cones,
But would crumble under a skittle.

Note: Horses should eat their cereal with whole milk. For strong bones!

We sent him a humongous box of Lucky Charms cereal as promised. He returned the favor by sending us something that left us both humbled and horrified. Check it out after the jump.

Read more on I’m Lucky I Won a CerealBlogger Contest!

It’s Wednesday again, I hope your time machine is fixed…it’s time for eBay roundup! Remember that Big Bowl of Self-Esteem that Russ found…and then bought? Well, it has come to my attention that some bowls have evolved past simple forms of communication to the point where they can technically display emotion…on their face…to the extent that Pet Rocks can. This is seemingly harmless now, however, future mutations could lead to super-intelligent breakfast bowls that will insist that only the finest Kashi ever enter their orifices…and how is that their decision? So like I said, I hope your time machine is fixed…because we may have to stop them at the source: China, some years ago.

For those of you without a time machine, Seller tweetylvr (99.9% positive feedback) is selling the whole lot of semi-intelligent bowls for $9.99 + $6 shipping (US). Buy them now, break them later, and be safe not sorry.

eBay Auction Link

A few months back Lester Borchardt, inventor (discoverer?) of Cheerios, passed away at the age of 99. As it turns out, Lester was not the first great cereal imangineer to expunge himself from this mortal coil, nor will he be the last…

On August 28, 2000, John Holahan lost his life in a tragic car accident. Holahan invented Lucky Charms in 1962 while working as a Vice President of Manufacturing for General Mills. He was inspired by those deliciously orange marshmallow circus peanuts candies and decided to chop some up into his Cheerios. Holahan worked with Kraft foods to produce some tiny marshmallows to mix with Cheerios for a focus group and the concoction was met with great applause. So much applause in fact, that the product was immediately shipped over to the gurus at Sales and Advertising who came up with the moon, star, heart and clover shapes, as well as that lovable mascot.

Psst…. Hey, you into Shrek? Well, lucky for you Shrek the Third is coming out right around the corner, on May 18. Now, I could skip seeing the movie, but our friend over at Cereal Wednesday has already dug deep into his iconic big bowl for a video review about this season’s Shrek promo cereal. Although there are many many great moments throughout the Cereal Wednesday archive, this is surely a classic.

The intro blasts off with an awful Counting Crows song, and we are whisked from an infrared car, to a sepia bridge, to what resembles my parent’s wood-paneled basement in New Jersey. In this episode, the main character shares the spotlight with special guest Puppy Monster! (Cleverly disguised as a little kid…) He spends an enormous amount of time giving lip service to everything but the taste of the cereal, including how hard it is to open the box, “corporate mongerers,” and serving sizes. And yet, through it all, you can see it in his eyes that he truly adores everything about the stuff. Check it out, you won’t cry.

“May your bowl always be big, your milk always be cold…” - nycwatchdog

Breakfast time has always equaled fun time here at the CerealBlogger household. We start each day with 2 scoops of smiles and a cup and a half of 2% milkfat giggles. If your family has a tough time getting aroused in the morning, why not spice things up a bit with a little morning magic?

The following guide gives you step-by-step instructions on how to make magic bananas that are magically sliced, before you even peel them! All you need to perform this nifty trix are a ‘nana, a sewing needle, and some thread. Once you’ve spent some time prepping for breakfast, I recommend just sitting back, relaxing and letting your robot slave do the rest of the banana work for you.

I feel that this trick would also work well on expecting mothers who want a baby with a fresh new hairstyle.

Full guide here.