One crazy month ago we had a limerick contest that produced some of the best and worst poetry of all time. The winner, Aaron, wrote this beauty:

A horse, with a neigh, was brittle.
But many a rider thought little
of the mares bones.
He could jump cones,
But would crumble under a skittle.

Note: Horses should eat their cereal with whole milk. For strong bones!

We sent him a humongous box of Lucky Charms cereal as promised. He returned the favor by sending us something that left us both humbled and horrified. Check it out after the jump.

Greetings Losers,

When I was asked to write a limerick for CerealBlogger.com I thought they were pulling my leg. Then, when I found out my entry had won the cereal limerick contest I felt like I was the one pulling leg(s).

I was a champion equestrian at Piquinnay Stables in the summer of ‘86 and I draw from that experience in most of my verse. My parents sent me there when they noticed my propensity to get on top of everything and ride it. I was only 8 when i started at the Stables and it was hard for me to be away from home. I often found myself craving Skittles while I rode Kristin, my horse. (Curiously, my sister is also named Kristin). My mouth would fill with saliva while I dreamed of sticky, sweet, fruit flavored sugar melting on my tongue. I cried myself to sleep for a month when Nanny Meriwether told me it was sinful to crave Skittles and ride horses at the same time because Skittles were made from horses. She never specified that parts of livestock hoof are used in the gelatin ingredient of most chewy candies and so I was left to believe that Skittles were melted horses. Meriwether would taunt me by imitating a gnawing action whenever she saw me cleaning Kristin’s horseshoes. I found myself in the position that so many 8 year-old boys have been in before, caught between two loves. If Kristin found out I was eating her I feared she would throw me off but at the same time I was afraid that my homesickness would consume me if I didn’t taste a Skittle soon.

I drew upon this childhood trauma when writing the limerick. Thank you to CerealBlogger.com for recognizing all the pain and ironic beauty that i squished into five rhyming lines.

Sincerely,
The Winner