Contest: There Once was a Bran from Nantucket
Published Thursday March 15, 2007 by Dan
You remember the Haiku contest right? Well this one is completely different. In honor of St. Patrick’s Day, we are eager to read your best cereal themed limericks. That’s right, just pen a charming limerick about or concerning cereal and leave it in the comments section below. We will choose our favorite and send the talented author a Lucky Charms Lucky Prize Lucky Pack©, with contents subject to change as we feel like it.
And now the rules:
- Write a limerick about your favorite cereal, preferably with a saucy, ribald theme
- Post it in the comments below
- Be sure to use a valid email address otherwise you forfeit your claim to any prizes
- Only the first entry per person will be considered for judging
- This contest is open to the US only, sorry! (But please have some fun and write a limerick anyway!)
- You must have your limerick submitted by 9pm EST, March 28th.
- You will be shipped any fabulous prize you win in a few weeks once the contest is over
Try and keep the limerick form, that will earn you brownie points. Also feel free to leave a normal comment if you see a poem you like. As a special bonus treat, the author of the worst limerick will be sent an autographed (by us) copy of Punk’d - The Complete Second Season. YEAH!
As per the norm, here is my entry:
There once was a woman from Myrtle.
The neck of her shirt was a turtle.
Kellogg’s was her brand,
but she sat on her hand,
and the doctors now say she’s infertile.
Filed under Announcements, Contests
I smell delicious!
the idea was really quite simple
my smile showed even a dimple
eight boxes, eight bucks
but i’ve eaten so much
the end milk’s given me pimples
A saucy young temptress named Jude,
has found herself feeling quite lewd.
she gets herself ready,
and pulls off her teddy,
and reads CerealBlogger while nude.
sweet chocolate balls of perfection
they leave a sugary, milky confection
cocoa puffs are all gone
oh what have i done
seems so short a meal on reflection
@wille:
worst limerick ever.
A father to his young son explains,
Eat fish. It’s good for the brains,
Milk for the bones,
Meat, muscle tones,
But a good shit needs Cereal Grains
I thought of an entry or eight
Though I no longer live in the states.
It might not be in order
that I’m north of the border
In the land where the US they hate
Mustard asked me to write a poem,
And hell, I don’t even know him.
I’ll pick a place for us to meet,
lay cereal at his feet.
And then I’ll just probably blow him.
~Integra~
Three guys named Snap, Crackle, Pop
Asked me to take off my top
Endmilk on my face
Made my smile displace
The elfin love did stop
There once was a man
Who loved his Oat Bran
Away from the table we’d scoot.
God did it make him poot.
Switch cereals, Dad, if you can.
A horse, with a neigh, was brittle.
But many a rider thought little
of the mares bones.
He could jump cones,
But would crumble under a skittle.
Note: Horses should eat their cereal with whole milk. For strong bones!
There once was a man named Phil
Who was so hungry he could kill.
He tried Alphabits
Which gave him the shits
And now he is feeling quite ill.
I really need my fix
But all other cereal I’ll nix
I very very
Need my Berry Berry
Kix
jake that is not even close to a limerick. that’s really horrible, did you even read the rest of the entries? i thought you were irish
A limerick I have never written,
to say “with cereal I am smitten!”
But my Kashi I do adore
It’s fiber-rich for sure
I’d eat it standin’ or sittin’.
Does this mean I’m a front-runner for Punk’d?
[editor: no, you are disqualified from the contest because that is not a limerick and therefor not a valid entry]
A man seeks fun one night,
His lady he wants to excite,
So they went to his car,
And drove to a bar,
To order some end-milk delite.
An early morning would be tough,
but of one thing, I just can’t get enough.
You know it’s my favoirte.
I run ‘cuz I crave it.
Mix my milk with your coco puffs.