…it sucks.

The end.

Just in case you have been living in a hole with the tv turned off (not that there is anything wrong with that) let me entertain you with some news. Michael Phelps is a USA Olympic swimmer. He has just wrapped up one of the greatest achievements in all of sports at the 2008 Beijing Olympics. Phelps went 8 for 8 in his events. Surpassing previously held record by Mark Spitz for most gold metals won in a single Olympic games. Now with a total of 14 gold metals, Phelps is considered the greatest Olympic athlete of all time.

Unlike our comrades in China we love us some capitalism, and even better some marketing. So Kellogg’s has announced that they will be creating Frosted Flakes boxes with photos of Mr Phelps winning all those fancy metals.

Kellogg Co. said Tuesday the boxes should be in grocery stores by the middle of September. The packages will include pictures of Phelps competing at the Olympic games in Beijing, where he won eight gold medals _ setting an all-time record for most golds at one Olympics.

Congratulations Michael, you knocked Tony of his podium. Something I never thought I would be alive to see. Below is a dramatization of such box should it appear in real life. Proceed with caution. And yes we love photo shopping cereal boxes for this website, its kinda like a hobby mmmkay.

via CNNMoney

Hey space cadets.  Life sure can be rough in this day and age.  What with the price of gasolina and potash, it’s no wonder that cereal prices keep going up.  Bad news for some people (cereal eaters, natch), good news for…General Mills stock owners!  That’s right, according to Jim Cramer, heirophant of the mystical and often paradoxical stock mahket to millions of ma and pa day traders, predicts smooth sailing for the coming months.  Citing strengths in brand production, innovation and smart acquisition, JC feels that GM can weather the storm and outpace the other, possibly less whole-grained, manufacturers out there. More deets here.

A few points off the 52-week high, General Mills (GIS) is trading at 65.94 as of the time of this post.

Anyone in favor of a CerealBlogger index tracking fund? I’m thinking General Mills, Kellogg, ConAgra Foods…any other suggestions? COMMENTS PLZ!

Or should I say ‘the FASTination!!!!!’

I should.

The only thing i love more than a cereal bowl that tells me what i already know, its a cereal bowl shaped like a thing. In this case, my 11th favorite car of all time! (In order: the Ghost Busters’ Ecto 1, the Back to the Future Delorian, Herbie, the Inspector Gadget-Mobile, the General Lee, any Bond car, the Cars, CARrie Underwood, CARpel Tunnel Syndrome, that yellow thing from Nash Bridges, and the Speed Racer Mach 5).

Through a special deal through General Mills (cereal reporting celebrities get special treatment) they are willing to send me a Speed racer Mach 5 Cereal Bowl! I just need to prove to them (somehow) that I have purchased two boxes of Cheerios. Unfortunately, the United States Postal Service refused to participate in the spirit of the deal, and needs to be paid $1.75 for their apparent trouble.

So that’s all it takes! 2 Proofs of Purchase (still don’t know how I’m gonna do that) , and $1.75 shipping and i get to have the fastest breakfast on the block!

Stay tuned for the unboxing, i would have to expect that this would arrive quite expeditiously.

Dan, Pat,

Would you write me a couple a letters of reference that i can send to General Mills?

Have you ever been day dreaming about your favorite cereal from the past? No? Well I do, all the time. Sure you might think its weird but remember you are the one reading a poorly written website all about a breakfast food by some fools on the east coast!

Reader CM Asks:

Do you, does anyone besides me recall a cereal called “Stacks”? It was little brown squares, and yes, you could stack them, try and see how high a stack you could make.

I think they were short lived, probably in the late 1960s or early 1970s. Can’t find anything on the Web.

So intrepid CerealBloggers and readers of the internet, do you know the answer? If so contact us, or just leave a note in the ole comments section.

It’s summer time here in the big Apple, Jack! That means 2 things: even more tiny dogs lugged around in tiny totes and NYC Restaurant week! Restaurant week is the special time of summer when you can indulge in a price fixed menu at any number of fine NYC eateries for the reasonable sum of 35 bones. Things snuck up on me this year, so while I am out scrambling to pick a place, I got to thinking about all the other amazing restaurants in my hood that I have not had a chance to dine at.

Read more on I still hate Robot Chicken

Courtesy of AOL Food comes the Breakfast Cereal Quiz. After each answer it tells you a little something about that cereal.

[Editor's note: 19 out of 20 for me; I blame windy conditions for my failure]

Via [Slashfood]